I pick his picture out of the search results and am immediately all swoon. He has a cherubic face and a twinkle in his eye that says he is a trouble maker. Probably was a bit of a hellion in high school in that bad boy good boy sense. He is into water things – rowing, kayaking and other outdoor stuff.
I reach out to him on a whim – really my first outreach.I am not sure how this works.Do guys like the girl to be this forward? But I figure what the heck, he can ignore it, he doesn’t have to answer.
But he does. He however is out of the country traveling. So he says he will reach out when he gets back in a couple of weeks.
I figure I will never hear from him again.
But two weeks go by and he messages me. We exchange a couple of notes about traveling, his trip, my trip last September. He asks me out for the next week and after a couple of back and forth notes we agree on a date. He picks a place I am familiar with and sends me his phone number.
Again the cultural conditioning kicks in.What do I do with this phone number?Do I call him?Do I text?Do I send him mine?I don’t even know him yet. A little freak out and them I am fine.
The night of the date I wear a cute blue and grey dress, tights and my black boots. I have a sweater on as well because of the cold. I get to the bar early – damn bus. Really early. So I walk around the block a couple of times and finally go in about 10 minutes early. I am not sure where to go – do I hang out in the entry area? Or in front by the door which is incredibly awkward due to the configuration of the door and the venues next door.
I decide to go in and wait at the bar. The bartenders being very attentive and it being a Monday, keep attempting to get me to order a drink. I decline.
A couple of people come in but it’s not him. Finally I hear a solo male through the screen dividing the entry from the bar. I stand up and he comes around the doorway.
He is a little shorter than I expected and a little stockier but not in a bad way. He gives me a big hug and kisses my cheek. We sit. Order a drink. Then eventually a couple of appetizers. He is really cute. He asks me to read the menu because he doesn’t have reading glasses on him.
I am amused by some of the ways things have changed since I was in my 20’s and 30’s. We now need reading glasses to see menus in dimly lit restaurants. But we are still of an age where we are in denial and refuse to have them, or carry them except in private. I laugh and give him a hard time about it. On the other hand, I am vain and am not wearing my glasses either and have to pull them out to see a bottle label on the shelf behind the bartender.
We talk about travel and sailing and learning to kayak. He is animated talking about his recent trip. I am watching him and thinking I would like to sleep with him at some point and wondering what he is like as a kisser. I know I should be paying attention but…
We discuss the usual family comparisons and what we do for a job.
We finish the food and a couple of drinks and it is already a couple of hours later. I let him drive me home. Should I have done that? Getting into a strange man’s car but it feels ok. I have no desire at this point to get on the bus or to call uber and he seems harmless enough.
I am trusting my instincts here and hope that he is a decent guy.
He drives me to my house and leans over to kiss me. I kiss back. A little bit of kissing and then we break apart. He says he’d like to take me kayaking sometime – teach me how to do that. I think that’s a splendid idea, but no date/time is mentioned. We say our goodbyes. He doesn’t get out to walk me to my door, I don’t invite him in.
He is the first guy I have kissed in a decade so I am a bit shy and cautious.
But I do want to see him again.
He messages me a couple of days later thanking me for the date, saying he had a great time and asking if my week was going well. He seems a bit shy or he doesn’t want to see me again and is being polite. I can’t tell.
I reply and say I would like to do it again. I ask his last name and a couple of boating questions.
He gets back to me a couple of days later, gives me his last name, talks about the water and asks my last name too. Still no second date. Do I give it up?
So I go for it and ask if he wants to grab a drink in the next week.
He puts me off – skiing trip, lots of work to do – how about the week after?
Sure – now I am wondering if this is a blowoff and I don’t get it? Am I dense? Or is it a juggling issue and he really does want to see me again.The pace so far has been super slow – like a couple of extraordinarily busy people trying to figure out how to work this dating thing in. But I am unsure, so will leave it alone for now.
Elsewhere
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