He reached out to me after I posted the Edwardian Ball pics. I got a lot of response right after I posted this pic from a very specific demographic. Burners, Edwardian ball people, Steam punkers. Kind of fun.

This guy seemed interesting. We have a bunch of things in common so I replied. We talk about meeting sometime and he sends me his phone number.

Again with the phone number.

What do I do with this? I am not that outgoing? I don’t even like calling clients for work. Much rather email and then meet in person. Not sure why this is an issue for me. I give him my google voice number and we shift the conversation to texts.

Our planning gets delayed because of a visit from my sister for the weekend.

A few days pass and we start discussing meeting again. It will be another week before we can get anything scheduled.

I am starting to see that planning to meet folks who don’t live in the city is way more difficult than with guys who live here. I am open to meeting folks out of the city, but it requires more planning and, in most cases, a weekend day. 

And I think, is it worth it? I know, mr. right might be just across a bridge, but I prefer taking public transit to meet someone.

Finally we settle on a Sunday afternoon to grab a drink and some food. 

Sunday afternoon comes around and I am thinking about what to wear. Do I go with a skirt? or casual pants?

This guy is an open relationship guy and I am not sure this is a direction I am interested in so how sassy do I dress?

I opt for a pair of navy pants, red with white polka dot keds and a cute red shirt. A little sassy, a little preppy but not out of control.

As usual I get there early and end up waiting awhile. The place is packed. It is sunny and gorgeous and everyone is out today. I see couples of all kinds walking hand in hand down the street. Hipster families are out. Groups of friends are rolling into the restaurant and the outdoor patio is full.

He sends me a text with a link in it that plots his geolocation and a note that the bridge is backed up and he is going to be late. I appreciate the update but I am waiting and the waitress won’t seat me without everyone in the party together. So I wait and people-watch some more.

Eventually, he texts again that he parked. 15 minutes later I think I see him. He doesn’t really look anything like his pictures. Hmm. This is a first in this batch.

We introduce ourselves and shake hands. We give our name and wait for a table. A couple of minutes later we are seated. It’s loud and hard to hear but we make small talk while looking at the menu. We order drinks and then some tacos. 

The dance around getting to know each other begins. Likes, dislikes, music, work etc. Mostly he talks. I learn he is in tech – no surprise there. But I also learn he is litigious and seems to think that getting one over on the large corporation is a good thing. It comes out in several comments about himself and some of his friends and colleagues. Like  a personal leaderboard of the winnings. It disturbs me. There is a sleazy factor that comes off.

Eventually I ask about the open relationship thing. How does that work? Why is he into that? I hear about his wife and what she is looking for in terms of dating and of her work life. They were both previous divorced and don’t ever want to divorce again. I think that it’s most likely that with California’s community property and these lawsuit winnings, he doesn’t want to give it up.

I am not convinced though.

We finish the date and say our goodbyes. We hug and go our separate ways. As I reflect on the afternoon on my way home, I realize I am a bit creeped out by him even though he seems nice enough. Not really what i am looking for.

He texts me later and I thank him for the conversation and make some light comments.

The next day he texts again asking how my day is going. I don’t respond.

Am I rude? Do I text back and say I am not interested? What is the right thing to do here?

I eventually just let time take care of it. Not the best policy because I hate when that happens to me.