When I went through my hibernation period, I didn’t go out with anyone for 10 years.

I never kissed anyone and didn’t have sex – for 10 long years.

Other than a brief hug with friends or family, I wasn’t touched by anyone during this time.

Going without touch for that long builds up a cocoon around you.

You say to the world, I am strong,

I don’t need anyone and pretty soon they believe you.

They stay away. They don’t touch and you forget how to reach out.

Once I lost the weight and saw myself in a new light—as having value to myself—as being desirable to others, and being open to all the physical possibilities—things have been changing.

Once you spend time kissing and touching and being touched; once you experience hours of skin on skin and truly amazing sex—all I want now is to be touched.

To have strong hands caressing my body, stroking my skin, touching my face, kissing me and wanting me, holding me.

I am addicted to the touch, to the presence of others, to their connection.

I don’t ever want to go back into that cocoon.