For real!
I get a message in my OK Cupid from a guy who is a professional photographer. Was intrigued by the fact that do photography. He was out of my age range scope but took a chance anyway. Widower. Big time rock and roll / musician photographer.
So we spend a few weeks trying to coordinate schedules and finally get a mutual date. We meet at a Tequila bar. I am wearing a super cute new skirt and sweater and sassy boots. He is very italian looking although he later said he is only ½ italian and ½ irish. He wears a strange hat and a black turtleneck. I think he must be from New York but Cleveland.
We have a lively conversation about photography and our different niche interests. He tells me his background. Interesting guy but I am not feeling any sparks. The only time I really see him smile or light up is when he is talking about coaching baseball.
The rest, while he says he loves it, seems to weigh heavily.
I refrain from asking when his wife died. I don’t think it was recent and the things he said made me think it was a long time coming – they had time to refinance a house in planning. But he mentioned her several times and apparently they were together from college or even earlier on. So….there’s that.
After a drink and some munchies, we walked over to his studio and he showed me around. Lots of pics of the great bands of my life. And a shitload of guitars on racks – apparently one of the guitar manufacturers is a client as well. But the place had a rundown feel, and smelled, and it seemed like it had never been cleaned. Sitting in the office part, I notice that his hat is soiled, like he sweats a lot and it soaks it up and he has never washed it. It was kind of disgusting.
The conversation seems to peter out and he has to go, I have to go, so he walks me to the door and he tentatively asks if I would like to get together again. I say sure – I could see becoming friends, comparing photo notes, but not sure of much more.
Probably though this will go like the other where there is not spark and hopefully just sort of whither away. On my walk back to my car I think about a recent essay I read “Fuck Yes”
and where I would put this date on that spectrum and realized it truly wasn’t a Yes.
So my question to myself is what do I do about the ones that are nice enough but are a No.
Should there be the “Spark” to move forward and continue? or should every potential have a few tries?
Since I took myself out of the running for a few months my instincts went into hibernation and are slowly coming back as are my efforts to meet and greet a lot of men so I have comparisons and an active social life.
I am not sure whether or not to pursue this.