We exchange a few texts on OkCupid and then he disappears a bit. He comes back a couple of weeks later and we work out a time and day to meet. I am a bit hesitant because he is a few years older than I am but he is cute and we seem to have things in common. Plus he sails. So there is that. 

We try to schedule something for early in the week but then my Tinder Hookup came into town and was only available the same night so I ask to postpone and we settle on Friday. 

We decide to go to a burmese restaurant in the mission. And we talk about going to see some music. We have some options at The Elbo Room or Bottom of the Hill and we decide Elbo Room since it’s down the street from where we eat.

I decide to wear a cute black and white patterned skirt, a black shirt with buttons down the front strategically allowing glimpses of the lace bra and cleavage and my cool white tipped oxfords. 

I take the bus down into the Mission and get off around 16th and walk over to Valencia from there and then down to the restaurant. I am a little bit early so put my name in for a table and wait at the bar. I am barely reading the menu when he arrives. I recognize him immediately. We sit at the bar and before we can really start talking we get our table. 

We order a couple of beers and an appetizer. He is cute and has a very gentle way about him – nice persona / aura. We talk – I ask questions about his work and he mine. We go back and forth – he has a way about asking questions that draws out the stories from me. At one point I laugh and he says “there’s that smile – the smile from the photos” meaning my profile photo from OkC which was one of the ones the ex took. I learn about his work and about his divorce – wanted to open up the marriage and she didn’t. So I think he is into exploring and seeing a variety of interesting people. 

We have great conversation – seem to get along – and then decide to go down to the club. We go in and it’s early yet for the music. I buy us a couple of gin and tonics – he paid for dinner and beers. We chat while drinking and then head upstairs for the first band. They are good and we enjoy it. At the break or sometime between songs, he asks if I will buy him another drink – I oblige and get us both another G&T. 

At the 2nd band they seem to hard core so we head downstairs for awhile to talk and be able to be heard. We talk about dating, about exploration, about work, about sailing about a lot of things. He has a way of asking me questions and I end up talking way too much. It’s hard – he draws it out. I try to ask questions about him and learn about his kids, about his work, about his divorce, about music he likes and a host of other things. He compliments me when I laugh and smile and we talk about the nature of guys versus dads, gals versus old seeming women. We both fall in the “look younger than we are” and “act younger than we are” camps. He doesn’t look 60. 

During the next band he is behind me and leans into me and then I feel hands up and down my back. We move to the music and he is massaging my back and my shoulders and around my waist. At some point he is cupping my breasts and I am leaning into him and we are swaying to the music. It’s utterly delicious. I kiss him at one point and we kiss nice and hard and deep. He does good tongue. During the last band I find he is caressing my breasts and squeezing my nipples hard. Between that and the back massaging and rubbing I am getting seriously turned on. 

The band finally finishes and we grab some water and then head out. He drives me home and we make out a bit in the car at my door. I seriously consider inviting him in but I would like to see him again so don’t and off he drives. 
I worry I have talked too much as I think back through the evening’s conversations. 

He made some insightful points about my ex when I mentioned that he didn’t like sex. We had been talking about sex, I told him about the play party I had experienced last year and he asked some questions and then I mentioned that I never told the ex about it and he asked why. I said it was because the ex was prudish about sex. As I think about it, he talked a big game but never followed through. He didn’t like to use his tongue when kissing – I always felt like he was being stingy with this. He didn’t really like sex with me, he felt it was work. He had serious body image issues and would hide himself when we were naked. I love looking at my lovers and seeing them excited to be with me and the ex would rarely let me look at him and would turn his back to me when he got dressed. So my date last night – upon the couple of comments I made (not these details) said the most amazing thing about me discovering my sexuality and freedom to be sensual and how wrong it was for me to be with this person and to have put myself in that scenario. It was almost punishment to for me. 

Despite the late night, I wake up at 6:30 am. So I see if there is anything on OkC from anyone. I “Like” him. I hadn’t done that earlier and send that message. I want to text him – give him my phone number – but I think no, I will let him make the first move back. 

Eating breakfast he texts me about having a good time last night.  I get the vibe he wants to see me again when he makes a point about me being sensual and sexy. I love being called sexy. I have been thinking about him all day…