He reached out to me last year when I was doing the first batch of dating and I never connected with him. 

He reached out again last week and I responded this time. We exchanged a lot of texts. A lot. He seems to like texting and to get really graphic sexually in the texts really fast. 

I told him, it was too much too soon and that I was open to meeting him to see if there was a connection but I wasn’t going to text like that. Call me a prude but it doesn’t do anything for me to get all sex talk in text when I haven’t actually met someone yet. Can totally be flirty after meeting – that’s a different story. 

So we agree to meet and then he proceeds to bombard me with more texts. Texts following up on meeting. Texts about my underwear. Texts about sex. Texts asking if I am into certain things. 

Then he asks if we can talk on the phone since meeting is a week away. So I say yes and he calls me while I am driving over to Oakland. 

He is so normal on the phone. He has a great voice and is funny. But intense. He is also fairly negative about SF and the state it is in with all the gentrification and the hipsters and the carpetbaggers. 

But we have a nice conversation none-the-less. He asks if I am into certain things – it’s very obvious this encounter is going to only be for casual sex. I tell him I am not but would be willing to accommodate some of his desires. I know he is wrong for me and we are probably not a good match, but there is something about him that I can’t turn away from. 

It’s like when I was in high school, dating the nerdy science boy and I continually had to make out with his friend the drummer with the long hair, the bad boy. 

We set a date to meet a couple days later. 

He proceeds to keep texting me. I ignore a lot of it. And then tell him its too much. The evening before we meet, he calls and leaves a voice mail apologizing for all the texts. Just says he is eager and excited to meet me. 

The day we meet, I get done with my work and head over to City Hall where we decided to meet. I sit and read and listen to music and a few minutes later, I see him arrive, also with headphones in. He smiles and I smile and I come down the steps to meet him. We hug. 

And then head over to a bar to get a drink. He is super negative about the place, about the neighborhood, about the city. I start to say some things and he hush hushes me, doesn’t want people to know this is our first date. Doesn’t want people to hear what we are saying. Umm….red flags. 

He sits facing out on the bench, I try to face him. He talks AT me the majority of the time and mostly negative and doesn’t touch me or make like he has any interest in me at all. Very strange. 

We drink. And then have another drink and then decide to leave. 

I have spent the time trying to ask him questions about him, his life, etc to find something positive he is excited about, besides sex, and have not really found that. Except his days as a drummer, playing new wave music and doing heroin. Ok – yikes. I really need to get away from this guy. 

He asks if I still am interested, and I am dammit. Something…. But I tell him I am not going to take him to my house, not going to tell him where I live. 

So we call it for the evening and walk back to bart. I ask if he likes kissing and he says yes and finally kisses me as we are on our way to BART. But it’s very closed mouth – damn. 

I don’t think this is going to work. 

We get to the bottom of BART and my train is there so he gives me a very fast hug, kiss and off I go. 

It’s like a whirlwind with the wrong person in the wrong situation. 

He texts me dirty texts the whole way home. 

I think he gets off more on the fantasy than the reality. 

I am supposed to meet him again next week – I still don’t want to take him home and I don’t think I want to go to his place, although he has cats and he is a leo. But not sure what to make of this one.